The suggestions on this page will not suit everyone: only you can know what feels right for you.
Some people have no wish to find out what happened to them or meet other former patients. Others want to read their ICU diary and speak to peers almost immediately. Some need more time—sometimes years. Everyone must find their own way to process the experience and move forwards.
After intensive care, there are many understandable reasons why you may feel vulnerable or anxious:
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Anxiety and worry are common after intensive care. Time will gradually help these feelings become more manageable, and some activities may also support your emotional wellbeing from day to day.
Regaining independence and facing the world outside hospital can be daunting. Ask family or friends to accompany you through these new “first times” if that would help.
Managing your mental load At first, organising your days may be difficult. You might forget appointments or find it harder to keep track of everything as you once did. Sticky notes, a diary and a notebook can be genuinely useful. Tell people when you need support—for example, ask a clinic to send you a reminder a few hours before an appointment.
Finding your way around—even at home When you first return home, you may have difficulty finding belongings or remembering where things are stored. You may also need to rearrange items so that everything you use is within easy reach while you recover.
Using household appliances again Your brain may temporarily prioritise essential information over everyday routines. You might find yourself unable to remember how to use the washing machine. Online instructions can help, but it may also be reassuring to ask someone close to show you how your appliances work again.
Going outside Especially in a busy town or city, going back into the street or crossing a road may feel difficult at first. Neither you nor those around you may have expected this. Take your time and ask someone to accompany you. Allow enough preparation time—not only to gather what you need, but also to feel mentally ready.
Returning to a busy town or city Noise, traffic, a fast pace and the many things requiring attention—cars, traffic lights, crowds and unexpected events—can feel overwhelming. Where possible, make your first outings short and go with someone you trust.
Using public transport Taking a bus or train alone means moving away from the security of home and navigating changes between routes. Even someone who previously knew the network well may find this frightening after weeks in intensive care and a loss of confidence. Some patients arrange to meet a friend or relative at an interchange for reassurance.
Shopping Returning to a supermarket can be disorientating. Bright lights, background music, announcements and rows of aisles may feel confusing, tiring and intense. It may be easier to begin with a smaller, quieter shop.
Driving However confident a driver you were before intensive care, the thought of driving again may make you anxious. Cognitive after-effects and post-ICU fatigue can affect safety, so take your time and follow medical advice about when you are fit to drive. Do not go alone at first. You could ask an experienced driver to accompany you while you practise somewhere quiet, such as an empty car park. If no one close to you drives, one or two refresher lessons may help.
To regain a sense of control, some patients feel a need to piece together their story and understand what happened during intensive care, particularly while they were unconscious or experiencing altered states of awareness.
There are several ways to do this:
Ask family and friends You can ask the people who were close to you during your ICU stay what they remember.
Your ICU diary Some units encourage families and staff to keep an ICU diary. If one was created for you, it may contain useful information about what happened during your stay.
Notes written by people close to you Some relatives keep a diary spontaneously or write notes for themselves. They may be willing to share some of these with you.
Message threads Families often create a group conversation on a messaging app to keep one another informed. You may wish to read it to help reconstruct dates and events.
Talk to the ICU team You can ask for an appointment with the intensive care team so that they can explain what happened and how you were treated.
Return to the unit You can also ask to visit an ICU room—perhaps the one you stayed in if it is available. Seeing the environment while awake may help you understand your memories differently.
A post-ICU appointment If your hospital offers post-intensive-care follow-up, use the appointment to ask your questions.
Your medical record You may request your medical record from the hospital administration. Remember that it is written as a clinical working document and can be difficult to understand without medical training. If you choose to obtain it, consider asking a doctor to go through it with you.
The Second Life by 101 community If you would like to talk to other people who have experienced intensive care, you can join the Second Life community using the link below:
As you try to make sense of your experience, take your time, state your limits and respect them. Stop whenever it begins to feel too difficult. Revisiting this period can be upsetting, emotional or frightening. Protect yourself: there is never any urgency to explore it. You can return to the subject later if and when you feel the need.
Sometimes anxiety is too difficult to overcome alone. Intensive care places extreme stress on both the body and the mind. You needed support to relearn basic activities such as breathing, eating, drinking and standing, and you may still need physiotherapy. In the same way, your mind may need help to recover from what happened.
If anxiety will not ease, if you cannot sleep, struggle to regain confidence or feel distressing emotions such as guilt, ask for help. Your GP can listen, answer medical questions that may be troubling you, support you directly or refer you to an appropriate mental-health professional.
Needing help with your mental health is not a sign of weakness—especially after everything you have been through. Serious illness and intensive care can be traumatic, and recovery may require specialist support.
In France, while waiting for a referral or other funded support, you may be eligible for the Mon soutien psy programme, which reimburses a number of sessions with a psychologist each year.
Intensive care is a uniquely difficult experience that can be hard to put into words. Talking about it with family and friends is not always easy, including with those who supported you during your stay. Your experiences were very different. As a patient, your memories may be mixed with dreams, nightmares and hallucinations that felt more real than reality itself.
This is why speaking with other people who have experienced intensive care can sometimes help. A peer-support group may give you a safe place to talk freely and realise that some of your emotions and unusual memories are common after critical illness. Ask your intensive care unit whether it organises meetings with former patients.
The Second Life community also connects former patients, family members and healthcare professionals. It can help you understand both your own experience and what those close to you went through. You will also find interviews and posts from the “Les REAnimés” committee, an active and welcoming group of former ICU patients.
Marie Clémentine’s storyWanting to meet other former ICU patients
Would you like to share approaches that helped you with the LifeMapp team? Tell us about them.